Paris Pleads No Contest to DUI
Paris pleaded no contest yesterday to her DUI charge, and the judge ordered her to pay a $1500 and gave her 36 months probation. On top of that, he ordered she attend an alcohol education program.
I can’t even imagine the faces on the other drunks in that program when Nipples Hilton walks through the door.
Drunk #1: “holy shit, it’s Tara Reid!”
Drunk #2: “That’s not Tara Reid, you idiot, that’s Lindsay Lohan!”
Drunk #1: “That is Tara Reid. I would know Tara Reid when I saw her. Gawd.”
Drunk #2: “Wait a minute. Look at her eye. That’s Paris Hilton!”
Drunk #3: “Hey bitches! What’s up? What do we do here?”
Teacher: “This is alcohol education, Paris. We learn about the effects of alcohol on our bodies, and how to prevent getting into situations like you found yourself in when you were arrested.”
Drunk #3: “Oh ok, like, you’re going to show us how to drive straight after having a cosmo or ten?”
Teacher: “No Paris,” sighs, “I’m hopefully going to get you to learn how you can control yourself and still have a good time.”
Drunk #3: “Ummmm…you do know who I am, right?”
Drunk #1: “You’re Tara Reid!”
Drunk #3: “Right. Sure honey. I’m Tara Reid and you’re Dena Lohan.”
Drunk #1: “Holy shit! I AM Dena Lohan!”
Good times.
January 23rd, 2007 at 12:01 pm
I love that picture of her, and by love, I mean I’ve thrown up alittle in my mouth. She’s so classy. Lazy eye and floppy boobies. Nice combo.
January 24th, 2007 at 1:09 am
Please tell me she did not go underwearless to court. Please. PLEASE.
January 28th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
lolololol…effin hilarious!
January 30th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
she forgot a certain important garmet this morning apparently….
talk about abusing your assets and privledged life :P.